Feel like falling in love again. Saw Shiya’s blog and it’s obvious she’s leading a very blessed life with her boyfriend. They are loving, even though they are of different races. It made me think of the past, between me and him. Why is he, in a special and bad way different from others? Other guys dare to show their love to their girlfriend. Other guys will take the initiative to ask their girlfriend out. Other guys will reply their girlfriend’s text. Most guys do that, but not him.
Ever since his grandpa passed away, whenever I text him, there’s going to be no reply. I started to get worried, wondering what happened to him and asked friends around. They said something which made me depressed, because he DID reply their texts. I’ve got no idea what’s wrong between us, we didn’t quarrel and yet we’re so far apart, even though I could see him in school. Some friends told me to give it up, since he’s giving me the cold shoulder for no reason while some told me to hang on to this relationship. I can’t make up my mind, I wish to be with him but at the same time, he’s making me miserable like never before. In the end, I still chose to give up this relationship which I’ve tried my very best to salvage. He didn’t say anything and still didn’t reply to my text even when I told him what I’m really feeling. Now we’re like strangers who don’t know each other.
I still love him now, yes I do. But the feeling is still miserable. I can only love him from afar and not doing anything for him. I can’t ever and never will tell him how I feel again, unless I’m about to pass away. Because even if I told him now, it can’t help in making our relationship better. We aren’t even considered friends anymore, I guess.
잔리 